The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time

The Curious Case of Benjamin Forrest Gump Button

2009-01-23T14:06:00.002-05:00

OK clearly I am ignoring all the things I need to get done in the remaining day of my vacation in favor of surfing the web :) I actually liked both Forrest Gump and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button very much, but this was still funny...

The Curious Case of Forrest Gump - watch more funny videos

Gladys loves Jesus...

2009-01-22T22:44:00.003-05:00

... but she drinks a little.

I don't normally watch Ellen, and I'm sure this is very old, but it almost made me pee my pants laughing. I may have to start TiVo-ing Ellen if this woman is going to be a regular callee.

Also, I would like to revise my earlier statement about Aretha Franklin, because this picture convinces me that, surprisingly, Blanche Deveroux can pull off that hat too...

"The World Has Changed, and We Must Change With It"

2009-01-21T11:57:00.013-05:00

So I was lucky enough to get to go to the inauguration Tuesday, due to a fortuitous combination of happening to be on vacation and the fact that my friend Laine was able to get tickets (thanks Laine!). I have to say that it was an amazing experience, something that I will probably never do again but also something I will be able to tell my children about one day. It was so inspiring to feel like I was a part of history being made. This was my third election, but this is the first time I felt like I was actually voting for someone instead of just voting against Bush. I think Al Gore and John Kerry were both simply the lesser of two evils, instead of someone I have faith in to lead our country through these hard times. For those of you who watched this on CNN, I was the 145,193rd person in from the left :). Also, the picture above is from cnn.com, there was no way I would ever get that close! Here are some of the pictures I took and some of my thoughts about the day.

These are some pictures of everyone walking to the area where the silver ticket holders were supposed to stand. They had shut down all the bridges and tunnels into and out of the city, and were using I-395 as a pedestrian walkway. It was really weird to see all these people walking on the highway! I don't know if you can see it in these pics but that is actually the interchange between I-395 and I-295. Weird!

Once we finally got to our entrance, we started the long trek to the back of the line to get in. It took us about 30 minutes to walk to the back of the line. Fortunately once they opened the gates it moved pretty quickly and we were able to get in and take our place on the mall. We ended up about a third of the way up the National Mall, closer to the reflecting pool than the Washington Monument. We could see the Capitol from where we were, but we weren't close enough to make out individual people.
This was a picture of the silver tickets that we were able to get. I love how they make it look like a wedding invitation, as if Nancy Pelosi personally invited me!

These are some pictures of the view from where we were standing. You can see the millions of other freezing cold people! Below are some videos I shot of the crowd, the second one is during Obama's speech

I thought the musical number with Yo Yo Ma and Itzhak Perlman was pretty cool. Aretha Franklin was also excellent, although I have to say I was a little disappointed that she didn't sing RESPECT. Also, I think Aretha Franklin is the only person in the world who can pull off a hat like this:

Damn, that is one giant sequin-y bow. Awesome!

Then Obama was sworn in, and the crowd literally went wild. It was quite the experience to be there as history was made. As usual, his speech was excellent. As Sars says "Obama is going to screw up, and lie about it, and do all the other frustrating and human things all the guys before him did, but praise God he's going to do it while using correct English." She also goes on to say that she thinks one of the reasons why Obama is so inspiring is that he makes us think that we, as a people, have the ability to change things for the better. As I said earlier, it's wonderful to feel like I actually voted for someone instead of just against someone. I know people have some concerns about his relative lack of experience, but in recent years politics has become stale and tired and I think some idealism is just what the doctor ordered. Also, I think that a lot of the qualities that make someone a successful community organizer also make them a successful diplomat. The ability to work and play well with others, the ability to get things done while dealing with multiple subcommitees, the ability to compromise. All of those things can only serve the President well.

A lot has also been made of the fact that Obama is this country's first African-American president. I am the first to say how fantastic that is. I am completely in awe of the fact that the people of this country can come together and make such a positive change in the space of just forty years. That speaks volumes about our character as a nation. Although change is slow to come, it is also constant and things are going in the right direction. And I think that is something to be celebrated, something that will go down in history as one of our nation's proudest moments. I am also proud to say that Obama's race had nothing to do with my decision to vote for him. I think it's equally fantastic that in this election people did not vote according to race, gender, or religion. I think that most voters do not see Obama as a black man, but simply as a talented and charismatic leader who was the most qualified person for the job.

Here is a video of Obama's speech, you can also find the full text here. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend watching the video, as it was excellent!

These were the snipers on top of the Smithsonian who were keeping us safe, although I don't know if you can actually see them in this pic.

These also did not come out very well, but this was the crowd waving goodbye to Bush as he and Laura flew out in his helicopter

And these were the people taking "Yes, We Can" maybe a little too liberally as they tore down the fence that was keeping us in and climbed out along the grounds of the Smithsonian :)

All in all it was an excellent day! Yes We Did!

TV gets it right!

2009-01-14T19:42:00.005-05:00

Wow I can't believe it's been a month since my last post. Things got a little behind during the holidays. I hope all one or two of you reading this had a happy holiday! This post is only marginally TV related though :)

Normally I revel (and cringe) at pointing out medical mistakes on TV and in the movies. Although Nip/Tuck is one of my favorite shows (so twisted!!!) I don't think they have ever once managed to maintain a sterile operating field. I could see a small contamination that most of the TV-watching public would never know about, but this week they went so far as to have Christian Troy remove his mask and vomit into a kidney basin over the patient's open pectoral implants. Of course, he has breast cancer now so I suppose it is to be expected, but still :) And with all the vomiting on that show this week, you would think someone would have taken pity on him with some anti-nausea meds, I'm just saying.

But every once in a while, they get something right on TV. Usually Private Practice is among the worst in terms of realism (Addison is somehoe a world-class general surgeon, OB/GYN, neonatologist, and pediatric surgeon at the age of 30, right?) but last week they touched on an issue that I think is a sore point for most pediatricians, the supposed relationship between vaccines and autism.

I would like to give them props for correctly pointing out that there is no relationship between vaccines and autism. No matter what Jenny McCarthy tells you. Time and time again the evidence is overwhelming that there is no causal relationship between vaccination and development of disorders along the autistic spectrum.

This issue first came up in the late 1990's, in 1998 a paper was published that claimed a causal relationship between thimerosal containing vaccines (specifically the MMR or measles, mumps, rubella vaccine) and an increase in the rate of autism. Since then there have been multiple well designed large scale clinical trials looking into this and the evidence has been conclusive that there is no relationship. For examples of some of these articles look here, here, and here. Those are only the first three of literally hundreds of scholarly articles returned by a search of pubmed and google scholar that all support the same conclusion. The evidence from the medical side of things is very clear.

Despite this overwhelming evidence, companies that make vaccines have stopped using thimerosal as a preservative in their vaccines. In 1999, the CDC recommended that thimerosal use be discontinued, most vaccine suppliers had complied with this recommendation by 2001. The last few batches of thimerosol containing vaccines expired in 2003, with the exception of some influenza vaccines which were still available for use in the 04/05 flu season. To find out more about this, look here. So even if you don't believe all the studies, the fact is that today all children are being vaccinated with thimerosal free vaccines.

So why the increase? The apparent increase in the rate of austism and other disorders along the autistic spectrum has more to do with a change in the way primary care providers think about the diagnosis and treatment of these disorders than an actual increase in prevalence. Treatment-wise, it has been shown that early intervention with a wide range of services helps these children to significantly improve their social, interpersonal, and cognitive skills. Unfortunately, these services are often expensive and insurance companies are hesitant to pay for them without an underlying diagnosis. More and more practitioners are placing children with social and behavioral impairment on the austic spectrum to allow them to gain access to these treatment modalities. Previously these children might have been diagnosed as mentally retarded or with one of many behavioral problems. We have also improved diagnostically, as autism screening should now be a part of routine well child care. The American Academy of Pediatrics has recommended adding an extra well child visit specifically to screen for red flag behaviors for austim. Well validated screening tools like the M-CHAT are now available for use by clinicians as well. For more information about the AAP's recommendations for early screening for childhood autism look here.

The last thing I need to say here is that even if there was a proven link, nobody ever died from being autistic. Unvaccinated children do die, every year, without fail. Nobody ever thinks it will happen to them, until it does. Most of these cases occur in children who are too young to have completed their primary series of vaccinations (ie, those under six months of age) but there are always a few older children who have not been vaccinated for one reason or another. They die of things like pertussis mostly, but also measles and other preventable illnesses. They are not dying in record numbers, but statistics like that don't mean anything to a family who has just lost their child.

I just felt a need to get this information out there, please pass this on to anyone who you think might be interested.

My New Favorite Thing On TV

2008-12-17T18:39:00.003-05:00

Wow, it got all serious up in here for a while there. Never fear, this post is about something frivolous. But I still think you all should watch Dear Zachary if you get the chance, it's important.

And now on to My New Favorite Thing On TV. My Big Redneck Wedding, showing on CMT, is awesome. It's not actually new, just something I recently discovered. I credit my sister and her husband with the find, as I think it is the only thing I will ever watch that airs on CMT. It's basically just like those TLC reality wedding shows, except it is hosted by Tom Arnold and it is about rednecks. And it is the best thing ever. It's like watching a train wreck, it just keeps getting more horrifying and I find myself unable to look away. For example, in tonight's episode, the bride purchased her dress for $19 and used a Bedazzler to stamp "Mrs. Lewis" on the back in fake gemstones. Classy.

The best episode I have seen yet involved the husband to be peeing "will you marry me?" into the snow. Every girl's dream, I know! There was of course a wedding morning snafoo, nothing ever goes quite according to plan does it? The bride was unfortunately unable to locate her teeth that morning. Of course, the mother of the bride had a ready solution, she quickly pulled out her own teeth saying "you want mine??". Now I know what to do should I get married and find myself sans teeth!

Also in tonight's episode, the bride and groom made their own "wine" by stomping on grapes in a bucket and pouring in a bottle of vodka. Turns out 10:30 AM was an excellent hour ;). Although I am not the biggest Tom Arnold fan, his particular brand of humor suits this show well, especially because he is not afraid to poke fun at his own redneck past :)

So that's my new favorite. Whenever you are needing a laugh, I highly recommend checking it out!

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father

2008-12-14T21:24:00.003-05:00

This movie , a documentary by Kurt Kuenne was incredibly, incredibly hard to watch. It starts out as a tribute to a friend who was murdered in the prime of his life and turns into something much more powerful. I don't want to give away too much as I think part of the emotional impact of the story comes from not knowing the end at the beginning. Suffice it to say it is about the many ways that the legal system can fail a child. Although it took place in Canada I think a lot of it probably applies to the US.

This hits a nerve with me personally, because I see this kind of thing all too often. Being a pediatrician means that I or one of my colleagues are often the first to realize when a child is being abused. Most of pediatrics is happy and colorful, but this is a slap in the face of harsh reality. Brain bleeds, rib fractures, femur fractures in a child not old enough to walk, and hand-shaped bruises are the dark underbelly of pediatric medicine, no one likes to talk about it but they are always there.

What bothers me most are not the obvious cases, the cut and dried, where in the end mom's boyfriend confesses to shaking the baby. In that case, I can go to bed at night knowing that mom's boyfriend will end up in jail and I can find the silver lining that at least I helped that child escape a bad situation. And perhaps in there I have helped stop the cycle and prevented that child from growing up to become an abuser him or herself.

I am bothered more by the cases that exist in the grey area, when there is no confession. Perhaps there is even no evidence of abuse, just a slightly suspcious story that doesn't quite fit. Or perhaps the social history makes you concerned that the child is growing up in an unsafe enviroment, or that one or the other of the parents is mentally unstable. Without clear and documentable evidence of abuse, under our current legal system there are often no grounds for removing the child from the situation. This means that usually you have to wait for someone to actually hurt the child. I realize that one cannot go around removing children from the custody of their parents on a whim but I wish that the laws favored the child just a little more. Child protective services will often get involved to try and monitor the situation, but the social workers and other people who work there are often overworked and severely underpaid. It is too easy for things to fall through the cracks. I'm terrified by the possibility that I may someday send a child home into a situation like the one in this documentary.

I don't really have any good ideas for how to fix this. I would just like to suggest to you all that you watch this documentary and maybe think about it the next time you go to vote.

Christmas: The Classics, Part the Second

2008-12-06T19:52:00.003-05:00

Since the incessant mommy-calling has made it impossible for me to get anything productive done... it has been brought to my attention by several people that I left a lot off my last list of Christmas Classics. The thing is, I was kind of focusing on Christmas specials in that post, but a lot of the classics are actually feature films. So here goes!

A Christmas Story is hands down the best Christmas movie ever. My family does not understand this, but I maintain my position, fully supported by my sister's husband. I love anything having to do with the teacher, especially Ralphie's fantasy that she is so enthralled by his Christmas theme, aka "the theme I've been waiting for all my life!!!! A plus!! plus!!! plus!!!" And I was guilty of having the same childhood fantasy after I would get in trouble that someday I would be stricken with some terrible affliction and then wouldn't they feel bad! Apparently my mother said I was also unaware of the fact that sound carries, and would talk about how bad they would feel after she had sent me to my room. Provided a lot of entertainment for them I think!

We've already covered my feelings on A Christmas Carol, although I would like to comment here that in the category of tongue in cheek movies, A Muppet Christmas Carol totally rocks. Actually I think much of Dickens' work would have been more interesting had it been written by Gonzo and involved more chickens :)

A Miracle on 34th Street. The 1947 version with Maureen O'Hara is by far the best. I have to admit to having a tiny crush on Maureen O'Hara, it started when I saw The Parent Trap and she is just awesome in everything she is in. But even if she weren't in it, the 1947 version would still be the best. I have never been able to forgive the new version for changing the ending. I actually liked it up until the end, thought they had done a good job modernizing the story. But the end of that movie is the best part, and there was nothing that has changed in the last 50 years that would have made it necessary to change the ending. Well, except maybe that kids probably now e-mail Santa instead of actually sending letters :)

Bing Crosby. OK so he is not so much a movie per se, but for some reason I associate him with Christmas. Probably because his White Christmas album was and still is a Christmas staple in our house. He also made several holiday movies, my favorite of which is White Christmas. It got even better once VHS was invented and it became possible to skip through some of the worst song and dance numbers (specifically, the one called Choreography, the rest of them are cheesy and fun). But watching him and Rosemary Clooney sing together is wonderful. Neither the Bells of St. Marys or Going My Way are specifically Christmas movies, but I also watch them in December. I love the little Irish priest in Going My Way, and it's funny to watch how they handle sensitive issues like prostitution in such a retro 1950's way. Too bad he wasn't as nice to his own kids as he was to the kids in the movies.

It's A Wonderful Life. So I have the same crush on Jimmy Stewart as I have on Maureen O'Hara. I can't really explain it. Still, this movie is interminably long, and the second half is much better than the first! My theory on this is that once you know the particulars of George Bailey's life it is not necessary to watch the first half of this movie more than about every 3 or 4 years. Then you can skip to the part where Clarence shows up after he drives his car into the tree and enjoy! The second half; however, is mandatory yearly Christmas viewing :)

In a more modern tradition, another movie I watch every year is The Santa Clause. I'm normally not a big Tim Allen fan, but I think this movie is really good. And the kid in it is just adorable, although I am sure he is now probably old enough to drink. The use of the Oscar Meyer Weenie Whistle is classic too. "Christmas came... noooo weenie whistle...." If I had to recommend one movie made in the past 20 years this would be it. Unless you count Gremlins as a Christmas movie, because that movie is awesome.

I think that pretty much covers movies I watch every year. There are a whole lot more, to be sure, but these are the ones I try to make a point of watching. Which ones are your favorites?

Dr. Horrible

2008-12-06T09:52:00.003-05:00

Speaking of ways in which Neil Patrick Harris is awesome...

Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog

If you click "watch it now" you can see it for free on Hulu :)

Prop 8: The Musical

2008-12-06T09:38:00.003-05:00

OK so I'm sure most of you have probably seen this by now. If you haven't, you should, it is just one of the many ways in which Neil Patrick Harris is awesome.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

And of course there has been a lot of backlash from it. My personal favorite is the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission , whose biggest complaint seems to be that the Jesus in the video is played by a Jew. OK first of all, Jesus was, in point of fact, a Jew. Secondly, if you need me I'll be over here scraping up my brain, because my head just exploded...

Christmas: The Classics

2008-12-04T21:17:00.004-05:00

I have to say, although I always enjoy the plethora of Lifetime movies that have slightly different plot twists but always revolve around the central thematic statement "If you're good, Santa will bring you a reasonably good-looking man for Christmas", in general, modern Christmas specials suck.

They really do. This year I have seen variations on A Christmas Carol starring both Tom Arnold and Cicely Tyson and neither of them even deserved to be in the same room as the 1984 version starring George C. Scott. If you haven't seen it, do. It's the same old story you know by heart, but the end still manages to scare the bejesus out of me every time. Even the normally jolly Ghost of Christmas Present is completely freaky in this version. Wow.

I think that A Christmas Carol may be the only one on my list of classics not produced by Rankin/Bass. I am not sure why they cornered the market on awesome holiday specials, but they did it really well. Gentlemen, I salute you!

Then there is the wonderful world of claymation. I remember one year, right after we got cable, for some reason the cable stations weren't showing Rudolph. I know, right?? So my dad actually dismantled our cable and jury-rigged up an antenna so we could watch Rudolph and Frosty. There is nothing on TV these days that would inspire something like that. Christmas just isn't Christmas until you know how much Herbie wants to be a dentist :)

But Rudolph is just the tip of the iceberg of claymation. There's The Year Without A Santa Claus, where Mickey Rooney as Kris Kringle decides to go on vacation this year instead of delivering toys. Two elves, Vixen and two children have to go and rekindle the Christmas spirit in Southtown, USA (generic enough for you?). This is another oft-repeated theme in today's Christmas specials but they don't get it right. For one thing, they do not include the Heat Miser and his brother the Cold Miser, children of Mother Nature. For some reason, and I've forgotten why, they are against the children/elves/reindeer getting to Southtown. They create an "obstacle" that essentially involves them singing and dancing, which is awesome.

Frosty the snowman is another classic that must be watched every year. I have seen several newer versions and they just aren't as good as the 1969 Rankin/Bass version narrated by Jimmy Durante. Firstly, Frosty isn't Frosty unless his first words are "Happy Birthday". I don't know why, that is just the way it is. Secondly, I love that Santa in this version is like a totally macho version of Santa Claus. You can just tell, he's a bad ass mother who don't take no crap off of nobody (bonus points if you can name the winter-themed movie that line is from). He has no qualms about assigning Professor Hinkle lines "one hundred zillion times" and even then the furthest he's willing to go on the issue of toys vs coal is a solid maybe. Ahh, back in the day when men were men, and elves were dentists :)

And of course, there's the Grinch. I actually like the Jim Carrey movie, I think that since Boris Karloff is dead, Jim Carrey is the next logical choice. That being said, Jim Carrey, you are no Boris Karloff. And the Whos are just better suited to animation than live action. Plus the dog is completely awesome. And the cheesy mirror animation with "the grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day". As for any other versions, the three words that best describe them are as follows, and I quote. Stink, stank, stunk!!!!

Now we get to my personal favorites that no one else has ever heard of. There is an awesome version of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" that came out in 1974, also by Rankin/Bass (see I told you, I think they were the only people producing Christmas specials in the 1960's/70's). It tells the story of a human clockmaker named Joshua and the mouse family that lives in his house. Unfortunately the mouse son, Albert, writes a snotty insulting letter to Santa Claus which causes him to become upset and strike the entire town from his delivery route. Joshua comes up with the idea of building a clock to sing to Santa as he flies over, but unfortunately Albert destroys it while trying to figure out how it works. Albert then learns his lesson through some touching song and dance numbers, including my favorite "Even A Miracle Needs A Hand". He is then able to fix the clock at the eleventh hour and saves Christmas. It is awesome in the extreme.

My other favorite, and possibly the best Christmas special ever, is John Denver and the Muppets A Christmas Together, originally aired in 1979. It has all the fun you would expect from the Muppets and all the cheesiness you would expect from John Denver and the 70's in general. And it has Jim Henson as the voice of Kermit, which is how Kermit is supposed to sound. New Kermit is kind of like New Coke, it's OK but I really prefer the Classic version. The best part is John Denver clearly walking on a sound stage in cheesy fake snow in front of a cheesy fake movie of woodland animals. Oh, and Miss Piggy totally comes on to him, which is hilarious. This is the lone special on this list that has yet to be released on DVD, and it almost never shows on TV so I am reduced to an old VHS copy I have from sometime in the early 90's. If anyone knows where I can get a better copy please let me know!

I am sure I have left some off this list, I just felt the need to vent about how much today's Christmas specials suck compared to the old classics! Tune in next time for a review of the first of Lifetime's "If you're good, Santa will bring you a reasonably good looking man" specials! :)

Some Thoughts on Prop 8

2008-11-14T18:59:00.006-05:00

Hi again! Once again I'm going to try to commit to blogging on a more regular basis. We shall see...

I was actually moved to post today because of the ongoing controversy over California's prop 8. Those of you who know me will recognize me as the original bleeding heart liberal, although I am not gay myself I am fully in support of gay marriage. As far as I am concerned, if two consenting adults love each other and want to get married, more power to them. It's hard enough in this world to find someone who loves you without imposing restrictions on who that person can and cannot be.

I can understand why people are uncomfortable with the idea of gay marriage. It challenges the idea of what a vast majority of people consider "normal". It's different from the way most of us were brought up, and it forces us to redefine our ideas about what makes a family. For some people, it is directly opposed to what their faith teaches about what is and is not acceptable in society. I understand that change makes people uncomfortable. I would have a lot more respect for people who voted for prop 8 and similar legislation if they would just come out and say "the idea of gay marriage makes me uncomfortable, and so I voted against it".

What I don't understand are the excuses. Let's take a look at some of these

1) "It makes my marriage somehow less to know that two men or two women could have the same thing I do". Really? You love your wife or husband less now because some people you don't know in Massachusetts got married? The 2 or 10 or 50 years you have spent together are now less meaningful? If that is really the case then that indicates that there must be some other problem in the marriage. To me, a marriage is a very personal convenant between two people. You promise to love, honor, and respect. Those words mean something very real, and sometimes something very different to different people. Ideas about what makes a marriage real vary widely between couples and between different cultures. It's about an emotional bond that you choose to make with another person out of love. How you choose to cherish that bond has no relation to how other people choose to do so, regardless of their sexual orientation.

2) "What about civil unions? We'll give them civil unions!" I'm all for civil unions. For some people, that is all the committment they want or need. Straight couples would call this "common law marriage". And I think that the granting of civil unions by several states is an important step on the path to change and equality for all. But it smacks a little too much of "separate but equal" to me. I think most people would agree that there is a difference between a common law marriage and a marriage. The legal rights are similar, but the emotion behind the two terms is vastly different. Common law marriage says "I want to share my life with you right now, as long as it remains convenient and we're both happy". Marriage says "I want to share my life with you forever". It often involves a religious ceremony as two people commit themselves to each other before God or some other deity. It also involves non-religious traditions as each person's family formally welcomes a new member. It's not the same thing, and trying to pretend it is is insulting.

3) "God hates gay people" - The modern world's God always seems to be busy hating somebody. Whether it's the gays, or the Kurds, or the Americans (yeah, that's right, God hates Americans too), or the Moslims, or the Catholics, or the Protestants, or whoever. The shortest verse in the King James Bible is "God is love". I'll admit I don't know much about other religious texts but I'm sure the essence of that idea is in most of them. I don't think God hates anyone, but it's a lot easier to say that God hates someone than to admit that, in fact, you are the one doing the hating. Stop using God as your scapegoat and take responsibility for your own thoughts about the world!

4) "My church is totally OK with gay people, we love them! But sex is for procreation only, and only between a man and a woman, and only within the context of marriage. So, you can only get married to procreate, and so we won't let gay people do it. But we're totally cool with the celebate gays!" So, I'm a Catholic, and the Catholics are absolutely the originators of this idea. While I completely disagree with it, I think that one of the coolest things about America is that our legal system allows us to completely bypass this issue. The founding fathers knew what they were doing on that one, when they talked about the separation of church and state. No governing body can tell your church what it can and cannot do, and who it can and cannot marry. In fact, at least in the Catholic church, the priest can still refuse to marry straight couples who confess to having had sex before marriage. This usually doesn't happen, as most priests accept the idea that there would be almost nobody getting married in the church anymore if they actually acted on that. But there are still a few priests who do, and if you're a couple who finds yourself in this situation, then you have to go and find another priest who will consent to marry you. The same thing kind of applies to gay marriage, if you are not comfortable with the idea, you are free to worship in a place that does not allow gay marriage. If you are comfortable with it, you are free to worship in a place that does. You are free to pay L Ron Hubbard to tell you all about Xenu, or to await rescue from the alien mothership, if that is what makes you happy. And even though I support gay marriage, I respect the rights of other people who do not share my views to worship in a place that is more in line with the way they view the world.

But you have to accept that the reverse part of that separation also applies. Namely, no church can tell the government what it can and cannot do. No church is allowed to force America as a whole to accept its particular doctrine. This is why we do not have a national religion. Freedom of religion is one of the major tenets on which this country was founded. But freedom of religion does not mean I am free to have my religion because mine is right but you are not because yours is wrong. Marriage is still primarily a religious ceremony in a large part of this country, and the government is not free to tell churches who they can and cannot marry. But churches are not free to say just because you can't get married here means you can't get married anywhere. Actually this logic applies to #3 as well. Just because your God hates gay people doesn't mean mine has to as well.

5) "If we allow the gays to marry, the next thing you know a) everyone will be forced into a same sex marriage or b) people will be wanting to marry goats!!!!!!! GOATS!!!!!!" Yep, if we let Rosie O'Donnell get married, she's coming to marry YOU! And there's nothing you can do about it! Right..... and if you can't tell the difference between a human being and a goat getting married, then you've got other problems that you probably should be dealing with. There's just no accounting for stupidity sometimes. And I say that in full understanding that the liberals are often equally as stupid, that kind of thing goes both ways.

Those are the major excuses that bug me, because I feel like they're just all different ways for people to pawn their discomfort and bigotry off onto someone else.

The other thing I don't understand about this whole thing is just kind of a general point that I feel about a lot of issues that this country often tries to solve by passing laws. What gives one person the right to vote on taking another person's rights away? You've got to accept that people in this world are going to live their lives in ways that are different from how you live yours. But they have the right to do so. This comes into play a lot about the issue of abortion. My personal feeling is that I probably would never have one, I don't think I could handle doing that emotionally. But I don't have the right to tell other people that they have to deal with that kind of a situation the same way I would. For another woman, perhaps having a baby is not something she would be able to handle emotionally and abortion would be the right choice. Being gay is not a choice, but the same kind of logic applies. Just because I don't want to marry a woman doesn't mean that I have the right to tell someone else that she can't.

OK that's my rant. I promise to get back to cheerfully critiquing bad Lifetime movies soon!

So I'm Officially Tired of the Olympics....

2008-08-19T14:06:00.002-04:00

Although they are the Best Thing I Saw on TV This Week (and I'm sure there were many many Medical Mistakes of the Week) but I'm kind of over it. I love Michael Phelps and Dana Torres and all the gymnastics but I think there is a reason all that stuff is only on every four years. I have to say though I feel kind of bad for the other swimmers on the American team. Here you have Michael Phelps setting 14 trillion world records and winning every gold medal under the sun, and in at least two of his races there was another American swimmer who also broke the world record... just... not quite fast enough. Can you imagine being like "yeah, I broke the world record!! oh...". But I have to say I love watching Michael Phelps swim, for the same reason I love watching the gymnastics. They make it look so easy! Like, sure, I could fling myself in between two parallel bars while flipping around in the air, no problem! The reality of that is, to say the least, somewhat different, I doubt me hanging from the bar going "ow, this is hurting my hands!" is going to win me any gold :).

So I think the biggest thing that could qualify as a Medical Mistake in these Olympics was the age of the Chinese "women" on the gymnastics team. And by "women" I mean "pre-pubertal girls" because come on, do they really expect anyone to believe any of those people were 16? Well, except maybe for the captain, the one they kept saying was 20. I think she may actually have been 16, but was stuck having to say she was 20 because she lied and said she was 16 four years ago. But I'm a pediatrician, and I can tell you, those girls were either about 10 or they had some severe hormonal problems and should probably see an endocrinologist. I wonder when it will come out that their "official" passports were actually fake.

But Olympics aside, I am ready for some new TV. With the writer's strike last year, I feel like it's been an awfully long time since there has been anything quality on TV. I'm not talking Lifetime Movie I love to laugh at it quality, I mean there is nothing on except Army Wives that I am actually interested in watching. (By the way, Army Wives is totally awesome and I love it). I started watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager because I thought it had an interesting, if somewhat hackneyed, premise and also because of Molly Ringwald being in it. Unfortunately they ended up generating a show that a) doesn't make any sense and b) is annoying. First we have Amy Juergens, the pregnant 15 year old who decides that just ignoring the fact that she's pregnant would be the best way to deal with the situation. The actress who plays her conveys every poorly written emotion she has by either squinting or playing with her hair. Granted, the writers don't give her much to work with, but still. Then there are her friends Madison and Lauren, who are apparently the worst friends ever. They tell everyone in school that Amy had sex, and then later tell everyone in school that she's pregnant. When she asks them to take her to Planned Parenthood, they freak out and tell her that their parents told them they can't hang out with her anymore. Which makes absolutely no sense. First of all, who would stay friends with two bitches who can't keep a secret? Furthermore, what kind of friend is so unsupportive that when you're in trouble she falls back on "um, my mom says I can't hang out with you anymore". Because you're a dirty whore, that part is kind of left unsaid. Then there is Ben, the boyfriend (not the father) who wants to marry her, despite having only known her for six weeks and the fact that she is having someone else's baby. Ben's father (the Sausage King of whatever the hell hick town they live in, a poor man's Abe Froman at best) for some reason thinks this is an awesome idea. Then there are Amy's parents, (Molly Ringwald is the mom) who are involved in some kind of bizarre sub-plot where the Dad stands up in the middle of an episode, announces he's "going to Vegas on business" which is apparently code for "I've been boinking someone else, and I'm leaving". The rest of the characters are just flat out stereotypes. The "someone else" is the Over-30 Town Slut, whose daughter is, coincidentally, the Under-30 Town Slut. She's in love with Baby Daddy (he was abused in his past, it's not his fault), who unfortunately is too busy trying to defile Blond Super Christian Cheerleader to notice. BSCC was dating Hot But Kind of Dumb Football Star until he succumbed to Under-30. BSCC also has a super creepy dad (played by John Schneider, who, frankly, is better than this) who gives her a promise ring, which always just kind of bugs me. Call me old fashioned, but I feel like dads really should not want to know that much about their daughter's sex lives. Anyway I've kept watching because I keep hoping that maybe it's going to get better, but I doubt it at this point. It needs to go one way or the other, get better writers and attempt to be a legitimate drama, or go whole-hog Lifetime Movie Special and cheese it up big time. Currently it is stuck somewhere in the middle, and it sucks!

So maybe this is why I'm not married...

2008-08-18T21:27:00.003-04:00

Because I'm a flat zero on this scale from 1939 . But I'm left asking, who dresses for breakfast? Really????? :)

Best Use of a Pie, Ever

2008-08-14T19:06:00.000-04:00

This may be the best thing I have ever seen. I don't know who Anita Bryant is, except that she is obviously a homophobe. Right in the middle of her spouting some bullshit about wiping out all the gays, four gay guys in the audience cream her in the face with a pie. Totally, completely awesome. I wish more people would respond to hate with fruit compote :)

RIP, George Carlin

2008-06-23T20:00:00.003-04:00

We will miss you!! In honor of his passing, I thought I would post a link to what is perhaps his most famous bit, Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television. It was first performed in 1972, and Carlin was arrested for disturbing the peace after performing it in public. It was later broadcast uncensored on a local radio station, which was brought to the attention of the FCC and lead to the supreme court decision that "indecent" material can only be broadcast between 10pm and 6am. It's a little dated, but still funny as hell. This is actually the version of the routine he did on HBO on his 1978 special. Sorry about the three links, I couldn't find one video that included the whole routine. Enjoy!!

Seven Words Part 1

Seven Words Part 2

Seven Words Part 3

And, as I'm sure you can figure out, if it's not safe for the FCC, it's definitely NSFW :)

Best Thing I Saw On TV This Week/TV Medical Mistake of the Week

2008-06-11T20:30:00.003-04:00

OK so this hasn't really been weekly, but it's not often I get to combine the Best Thing and the Medical Mistake all in one post. So whatever.

So I was totally going to post this about the Lifetime movie Normal Adolescent Behavior, featuring Amber Tamblyn as one of a group of six teens (3 girls, 3 guys) who essentially have a pact that they will all have group sex every Saturday night, except it turns out that two of them are secretly gay and the one guy who isn't secretly gay cheated on them all and then gave them all crabs. This was clearly not originally a Lifetime movie, as all the "fucks" were dubbed over, leaving them to yell "Forget you!" in the heat of their teenage angst. In any normal week, that would have been The Best Thing I Saw on TV, period.

And then I saw She's Too Young. By the title you can assume that this was indeed a Lifetime movie (let's face it, the best things on TV are either on Lifetime or the Hallmark Channel). This one features Marcia Gay Harden as a mom who discovers that her 14 year old daughter may be having sex. Which is not all that unusual for a Lifetime movie, but this one was truly unique in that it involved the entire high school getting syphilis. Not just a few people, pretty much every character with a name in this movie ends up with the syph. I mean all of them. This is discovered by Karen Glave, who is featured as someone who is either the school nurse or a guidance counselor, it is never quite clear which. Unfortunately, in the TV Medical Mistake of the week, she proceeds to inform them all that the syph is caused by a virus, which will be cleared up nicely with some antibiotics. It's unclear whether she just didn't learn her microbiology or whether she has the syph confused with herpes, but either way she's dead wrong. Of course, she may have just been swept off her feet by Nick, the teenage gigolo, who glibly (and hilariously) informs her "you better stick 'em all, because chances are, I have". It was a difficult choice, but I think that quote gives She's Too Young a slight edge, making it The Best Thing On TV This Week.

And, fyi, syphilis is caused by Treponema pallidum, which is a type of bacteria known as a spirochete. Fortunately for the students at this high school, it can be treated with a simple shot of penicillin. Herpes is caused by a virus called the herpes simplex virus (HSV), and while it can be suppressed with antiviral medication, it can never be cured. For more STD info click here.

I realize this is going to give away how I'm going to vote...

2008-06-11T20:09:00.002-04:00

But this is pretty cool.

And so is this :)

MTV "Cribs"

2008-03-14T23:23:00.002-04:00

OK so this video was featured at our resident Spring Fling tonight, and it's hilarious. Some of you who are not in peds may find it less hilarious, but I'm posting it here to share anyway :)

You Know You Work at a Children's Hospital When:

2008-03-11T20:32:00.001-04:00

You ask your patient "What have you been doing today?" and the patient answers, very proudly "I pooped!!!!!!"

OK....

2008-03-11T20:20:00.003-04:00

OK, so, totally wrong, I know, but funny anyway...

So this makes me wonder two things:

1) What the hell??

2) Did I sound this stupid singing in German, French, and Latin in college?

As for #1, I... don't know.... But I'm pretty sure the answer to #2 is a resounding yes, although to my credit I never did it dressed as Cyndi Lauper...

I don't know what the prize was on this game show, but I totally hope Bruce Springteen won...

I am a feminist!

2008-03-04T21:25:00.003-05:00

And, most likely, you are too. This is an old piece from Tomatio Nation, one of my favorite places to spend my internet time. I was browsing the archives of the site and came across it, and I thought I would post it here for all one or two of you to read, too. It's well worth it.

Yes, You Are

TV Medical Mistake of the Week

2008-03-01T10:03:00.002-05:00

The Hallmark movie Back to You and Me, while being a fabulous Rue McClanahan vehicle (gotta love Blanche Devereaux!) also start Lisa Hartman Black as a doctor of some sort. Your typical small town girl becomes big city doctor Hallmark movie plot. However, in addition to being a doctor she also apparently has Xray vision, as she is able to diagnose her boyfriend's son with neuroblastoma (an abdominal tumor) just by looking at him!!! It's amazing, with that kind of talent I would never have to go to work again! :)

Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddly Doodle, Whatever...

2008-02-25T22:23:00.003-05:00

So tonight ABC premiered P. Diddy's version of A Raisin in the Sun . I've always loved this play, I think it has a great story to tell and it has always moved me. And the cast was just fantastic, Phylicia Rishad, Sanaa Lathan, Audra McDonald, everyone was wonderful.

Well, almost everyone. I think P. Diddy should have stuck to producing in this case. He plays Walter, the male lead and he just doesn't have the acting chops to pull it off. The only expression he can reliably pull off is sullen, which actually works most of the time as Walter is kind of a sullen guy. But he can't manage to deliver any of his lines without sounding as though he is reading them off an index card he has hidden under the scenery. Instead of empathizing with Walter as a black man struggling to make something of himself, I ended up just wanting to tell him to shut up and stop being so whiny. I mean, did he honestly think he could fill Sidney Poitier's shoes? Really?

Fortunately for him, he's pulled along by the sheer strength of the female cast. Audra McDonald especially as his wife made me cry more than once. You can really feel her desperation as she's standing in the kitchen of the abortionist/hairdresser (yes, the Jamaican hairdresser provides abortions in her kitchen!!!) as she's trying to decide what to do, it's really powerful. And Phylicia Rashad is wonderful as the mother, the rock and backbone of the family.

Overall, I thought this was a pretty good adaptation of this play, although not the best I've ever seen. Most of that is Diddy's fault though, (I mean, really, from Poitier to Puffy?) everyone else is well worth watching!

And on a more serious note...

2008-02-23T12:57:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I finally watched the movie A Mighty Heart. I downloaded it from Amazon a while ago but it's taken me a while to be in the right frame of mind to watch it. It tells the story of the last few days of Daniel Pearl's life from the perspective of his wife, Mariane. It's a very powerful story, the movie does a good job at conveying the sense of confusion of the whole situation. Nobody knew exactly what had happened or who was responsible. It would seem that not even the terrorists knew for sure what their plans were going to be, it appears that one of the major players actually ordered him released before he was eventually killed. What I found the most interesting was the information that the police and authorities chose to share or not share with Mariane. She seems to be involved in most of the details of the investigation, yet, when they find a body they don't tell her. They offer to let her see a video of the beheading but they are reluctant to tell her the body has been dismembered. I found myself questioning the motives behind some of their decisions. Anyway, if you have the time, I thought this movie was 90 minutes well spent.

Best Thing I Saw on TV This Week

2008-02-23T12:51:00.003-05:00

Michael Jackson's Secret Childhood on VH1.

First of all, as the special goes on you can literally see his nose getting smaller and he morphs from black to white, it's bizarre. Also, I never realized what a total bastard Joe Jackson was! Suffice it to say, Ike Turner ain't got nothing on him... I also didn't realize that The King of Pop also grew up a Jehovah's Witness. Essentially at a very young age his father was encouraging him to be sexual on stage so that he could sell more records, and his mother was telling him that his sexuality was bad and that he was going to be eternally damned. Not that there really is any excuse for his current behavior, but the poor guy never really had a chance to have a childhood. The show has a lot of interesting theories about that being the basis for his bizarre interest in young boys, I don't know if its true or not but it was facinating!!

Holy Crap!

2008-02-20T18:53:00.000-05:00

Canadian PSAs are scary!!! I promise I'll clean up the grease next time!

I was tagged!

2008-02-20T18:18:00.002-05:00

By Jenny ...

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open it to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence/ phrase.
4. Blog the next four sentences/ phrases together with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig your shelves for that very special or intellectual book.
6. Pass it forward to six friends.

"Everything the woman wore - frilly dress, lace mittens, feathered hat - was white. So was the open parasol she held over her shoulder. Madeline shook her head. 'It must be some reference to my background, but I don't know this woman.' She put the daguerreotype on a little shelf."

OK, I tag anyone who is reading this!

First Grade Wisdom

2008-02-20T18:04:00.002-05:00

My grandfather e-mailed this to me and I thought it was funny...

A first grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the first half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are 6-year-olds because the last one is a classic!
1. Don't change horses ...........until they stop running.
2. Strike while the .............bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before ............Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of ...........termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but ............How?
6. Don't bite the hand that .............looks dirty.
7. No news is ............impossible
8. A miss is as good as a ............Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new ............Math
10. If you lie down with dogs, ............you'll stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust ............Me.
12. The pen is mightier than the ............pigs.
13. An idle mind is the .............best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's ............pollution.
15. Happy the bride who ............gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is ............not much.
17. Two's company, three's ............the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what you ............put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ............You have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as ............Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not ............spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed ............get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you ............See in the picture on the box
24. When the blind lead the blind ............get out of the way.
25. A bird in the hand is ............going to poop on you.
And the WINNER and last one!
26. Better late than ............Pregnant

The feminist in me knows I shouldn't find this funny...

2008-02-07T21:23:00.000-05:00

But heehee anyway :)

Hey, Kenickie!

2008-02-06T21:09:00.000-05:00

So today my TiVo taped Celebrity Rehab on the TiVo suggestions, so I watched it. And of course they are not actually celebrities, but "celebrities" like Chyna and Daniel Baldwin. There was one guy I just couldn't place, I kept thinking he looked familiar but I couldn't figure out where from. Then, at the family and friends barbecue this one girl was like "Hey, were you in Grease?" and I realized it was Kenickie!!! Damn, Kenick, Zuko would be so disappointed...

Also?? Daniel Baldwin? Spends the entire show bitching about how pissed off he is that there is no privacy and there are cameras everywhere. OK, so I know you were probably all coked out when you agreed to this, but it still should have been fairly obvious that signing up to be on a reality TV show is not exactly the best way to go through rehab privately. Just a thought...

Conversations

2008-02-05T22:41:00.000-05:00

So, parents have a lot of questions about their babies, which it is my job to answer. Normally I enjoy doing this, but sometimes I have a hard time keeping a straight face. The occasions on which I had to say the following were two of those times:

"No, sir, they aren't born circumcised, we actually have to do that later..."

and

"Oh, no, don't worry, it won't always be that small..."

TV Medical Mistake of the Week

2008-02-03T20:16:00.000-05:00

OK so this isn't exactly a weekly thing, but whatever

So I've been watching Nip/Tuck on DVD (I love blockbuster.com!). That show is sick and twisted but I'm officially totally addicted. But anyway, the two doctors on the show end up getting involved with this Columbian drug lord who basically has women muling heroin into the county in their breast implants, and then he needs plastic surgeons to remove them on the US end. So one of them ends up developing sepsis from the shoddy surgery in Columbia to put the implants in, which is an overwhelming bacterial infection of the blood which can basically have the effect of shutting down all your organs if not treated properly. And then, the following line

"She's getting better, she's really responding to the augmentin we've been giving her"

Now, augmentin is a great drug, very useful for a lot of things; however, it's a drug that is given by mouth. Giving antibiotics by mouth for sepsis is a little bit like pouring a teaspoon of salt into a lake expecting to make an ocean. Not that the writers would know this, or that the average viewer would really care, but I just thought I would point that out... :)

The drawback to working in pediatics...

2008-01-29T18:58:00.000-05:00

... is that kids do not cover their mouths when they sneeze!

Thus, I was forced yesterday to sell my soul to Happy Harry's to get some Advil Cold and Sinus. I'm constantly amused by the rigamorole one must go through to get sinus medication these days. I mean, in many states you can actually buy a gun and give them less information than you need to get some pseudoephedrine. Here is my question to these people: If I were running a meth lab (which I am not), how long do you think it would take me to stock up buying one box at a time? I really have no clue how much decongestant you need to run a good meth lab, but I am guessing it is more than one box. I don't know why, but as Peter Griffin would say, this really grinds my gears!

TV Medical Error of the Day

2008-01-27T14:27:00.001-05:00

So I was watching the movie Charlie and Me on the Hallmark channel the other day (shut up, all of you!), which for the record was very cute, but contained some hilarious medical errors that I would like to share. The basic premise of the movie is that this girl is really close to her grandpa and has a somewhat distant dad who is away on a business trip when the grandfather has a heart attack, leaving the girl to make his medical decisions for him.
1) The total implausibility of the fact that they would be unable to reach the Dad in China and thus rely on the decisions made by an 11 year old girl
2) In the hospital, Charlie consistently has a heart rate of 33 on the monitors. Some basic research would tell you that the normal heart rate for an adult is 60-100!
3) Charlie spends about a week intubated in the hospital (I guess because his heart rate is 33). He is not only conscious during this, but actually talks around the tube on multiple occasions! Yes, that's right, he is magically able to talk around the tube that is ostensibly sitting in his trachea, no problem right? And that is not horribly uncomfortable for him in any way? He must have a magic trachea, because if you were awake and intubated it would hurt like hell.

So that's it for the cheesy hallmark movie. If the writer's strike ever ends I'll start posting medical errors from ER instead :)

Isn't it ironic?

2008-01-27T14:22:00.001-05:00

So I've always had a pet peeve that the lyrics to "Ironic" by Alanis Morisette aren't actually ironic in any way. How nice to find that someone has fixed it for me!

A joke!

2008-01-23T22:59:00.000-05:00

So I heard this from one of my patients today:
Why couldn't the skeleton dance at the party?

Because he didn't have anybody to dance with!

Geddit? Any body? Heehee :)

I have an addiction...

2008-01-23T22:48:00.000-05:00

Hi, My name is Kim, and I'm an Intervention addict...

Everyone: Hiii Kim!

No seriously, this is like my favorite show nowadays, it just amazes me to see the stories behind people's addiction. It really puts a human face on addiction and helps explain why people do the things they do sometimes. I highly recommend checking it out!

Overheard in the hallway today...

2008-01-18T19:06:00.000-05:00

Child's voice: "Excuse me!! Ex-CUSE me!!! I need a doctor!!!"
Pulmonologist: "If you can yell it that loud, you don't need me!"

What does "meme" mean anyway?

2008-01-15T21:44:00.000-05:00

All right, first of all, I stole this from Jenny. Secondly, it's technically supposed to be a new years thing, so I'm a little late. But I'm a sucker for these! So here goes
1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before? 
Wrote an actual prescription that I'm actually responsible for (scary!)
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Oh hell no, I did so badly that I decided not to make any this year!
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, I have a brand new cousin! And another one on the way in 2008!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, which I am thankful for
5. What countries did you visit??
Does the Land of Nod count as an actual country?
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Paychecks for the whole year! And a one night stand with Daniel Craig.
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 15, Match Day, May 18, graduation day! December 29th, sister's wedding day!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduated med school
9. What was your biggest failure?
I refuse to answer on the grounds that this is a depressing question
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope, thankfully!
11. What was the best thing you bought? 
Well, I was a student so I didn't get much beyond Taco Bell. But the best thing anybody bought me, it's a tie between my Roomba and the spa gift certificate I got for Christmas. Oh and Lego Star Wars is way up there too, because that game rocks!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My sister and her husband! Congratulations!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Bush, same as every year
14. Where did most of your money go?
Besides Taco Bell :)? Probably rent
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Paychecks!!!! And the aforemetioned wedding!
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Rascal Flatts "Bless the Broken Road"
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:  a) happier or sadder?  b) thinner or fatter?  c) richer or poorer? a) sadder b) probably about the same, sadly c) I don't know that I would say "rich" but at least I have regular paychecks now!
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Traveled, seen my friends who live far away, seen my family who lives far away. Basically anything that involved time and money
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Work
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Spent Christmas Eve with some friends, worked in the well baby nursery on Christmas, then had repeat Christmas Eve dinner on the 27th :)
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Nope.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
I can't answer that! I am addicted to my TiVo
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope, I still dislike the same two people, but nothing new :)
24. What was the best book you read?
Man! What is with the hard questions?? I will say that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was the only book I read that made me scream "That was awesome!!!!!" to my empty apartment :)
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
No More Kings. Anybody who sings about the Karate Kid and Night Rider is cool
26. What did you want and get?
A Roomba and a GPS. And a Roof, which is the name of my new kitty. Actually I didn't know I wanted a new kitty until she showed up :)
27. What did you want and not get?
A dog, a million dollars
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Honestly I have no clue
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
28, and sadly, I worked!
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Meeting my soul mate
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007??
I am only wearing clothes my sister picks out for me :)
32. What kept you sane?
I'll copy Jenny's answer here: Friends, laughter, and love. And I'll add the ridiculous stories which I hear at work every day :)
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Gosh, I don't know. I can tell you who I don't want to hear about though!
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
No exit strategy for Iraq
35. Who did you miss?
My friends and family who live far away
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I met so many new people, and all of them were awesome!
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
When in doubt, always answer "thyroid problems"
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Ha, now the only song lyric I can think of was "Everybody was kung-fu fighting". It would be hilarious if that were the best sum up of my year!

Watch This...

2008-01-15T20:35:00.000-05:00

Xenu commands you...

Seriously, I am all about freedom of religion but man, that guy is just batshit crazy...

Hi Nobody!

2008-01-14T19:47:00.000-05:00

OK so I'm back... I think it's been almost year since the last time I posted anything here. We'll see whether or not this lasts :) I have a feeling that the frequency of my posting will be in indirect proportion to how tired I am.

So I know about only two people are likely to ever read this, and those two people pretty much already know who I am, but I feel compelled to provide some updates on what has happened to me in the last year. So here goes.

I graduated medical school (finally!) so now I am an intern. Side note for those of you who don't get the whole doctor grading system thingy. So you go to college for four years. And then you go to medical school for four years, so that's eight years of unpaid misery, oh, sorry "education". Then you start residency, which is where you decide what you want to specialize in and continue your training. Most residency programs are three to five years long. The first year of residency is called internship. It used to be that everybody did the same kind of internship for one year and then you moved on and started your specialty training, usually at a different hospital. That's not always true anymore (although some residency programs still require this) but the name has persisted. Then after that you can choose to move on to fellowship, which you would do if you wanted to be a specialist like a cardiologist or a neonatologist.

So I'm a pediatric intern, which means I am in the first year of a three year pediatric residency program. Loosely translated, I work 60-80 hours a week for about $8 an hour. Yep, I could make more if I put in 80 hours a week as an assistant manager at McDonald's :). But I love it, for real, I can't imagine myself doing anything else.

The other exciting thing is my sister got married a couple of weeks ago (yay!!! congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Little Sister!!!!!!!) which was a blast. I had so much fun being the maid of honor! And now I plan on having fun watching my mother broadly hint that they should get started supplying grandchildren :)

Oh, and I adopted a second cat. This makes me one step closer to being crazy cat lady, but I love her anyway.

Aaand that's about it for the big news... this whole "80 hr work week" has really put a cramp in my ability to do anything even mildly interesting...

In smaller news, Bush is still president, we're still in Iraq without an exit strategy, and the writer's strike is playing havoc with my TV watching. Which is perhaps why I am now posting things on the internet :) Like I said, we'll see how long this lasts :)

Watch out!!

2006-02-25T23:05:00.000-05:00

Cheney's Got A Gun ... I realize this is a day late and a dollar short but this may be the best parody of that song ever...

Men's figure skating...

2006-02-15T21:45:00.000-05:00

OK so normally I'm not so much a fan of the singles figure skating, it's missing the exciting guy tosses girl into the air element (which as we have seen in this Olympics, can end with the girl landing on various painful parts of her anatomy on the ice). But this year's men's short program was highly amusing, chiefly because of the costumes. Examples:
1) Some poor American guy dressed as a matador. Ole! (loosely translated: "oops, I fell on my ass like twice")
2) Some Belgian guy wearing a black jumpsuit with EXIT printed on the back in glitter. What exactly was he going for there? Because really I can think of only one thing that might exit out of the back of a person, and I really don't think that's something you want to bring out on the ice with you, I'm just saying that is probably not the way to win artistic points from the judges...
3) Johnny Weir (admittedly kind of a weirdo to begin with) dressed as a swan. What?? Actually the best part of this was Dick Buttons lamenting that he did not, in fact, act out the death of said swan on the ice. Again, what?? He does have the distinction of being the only one I mention here to actually have skated a decent program, currently in second place, go USA!
4) OK this was by far the most awesome costume in the whole event, if we define "most awesome" as "one that made me laugh hardest while shouting things on my TV." or "only program I was forced to rewind on TiVo and watch again". Brian Joubert of France skating as James Bond... And when I say as James Bond I mean complete with one hand in a black glove as his "gun" which he pointed threateningly around the ice at his wiley foes. He then staged a fistfight with himself on the ice, "drove away" and then the whole thing culminated in him pretending to toss a grenade into the audience and then ducking in fake shock when it "exploded". From the commentators?? "(sigh) This choreography is so trite...".

All in all, a highly satifying way to spend an evening. Or approximately 40 minutes due to the magic of TiVo. Also, confidential to Scott Hamilton: Dear Scott, every time someone does some kind of a jump combination, they are not always pulling the second jump out of their ass. The commentary kind of loses something when you announce it as if they always are. Save the pain in your voice for those actually in danger of falling and dashing their Olympic hopes out there on the cold, cold ice. Hugs and kisses, Kim.

Tomorrow: (or possibly Friday) men's free skate! Here's hoping the costumes are even uglier, I need something to keep me amused :)

Vice Presidential whoops!

2006-02-13T22:53:00.000-05:00

Can y'all believe Dick Cheney shot that guy??

on a lighter note....

2006-02-11T20:53:00.000-05:00

This made me laugh, a lot. It's The Daily Show, so listen at work at your own risk :)

Three posts in one day?? This is what happens when it snows and I'm tired of TV!

interesting article

2006-02-11T19:57:00.000-05:00

Right after I wrote that last post I happened across this article by Dinesh D'Souza. It's a little dated, and I think he paints America to be a much rosier, happier place than it really is (but then again, I'm on the political left so according to him, I would say that...) but it served to remind me that even with all its faults, I would rather live in America than anywhere else in the world.

some thoughts on America

2006-02-11T18:09:00.000-05:00

OK so now that I finally got my TiVo up and running, my DVD player is on the fritz... I think my entertainment system hates me. And not just because TiVo Suggestions recorded and then forced me to watch The Laramie Project about Matthew Shepard so I got all depressed about how much America (or is that Americans?) suck(s) as a general rule. I try hard to believe that people are not inherently bad but that story (and the countless other ones like it) makes it really hard to remember that there are good things about America too. For a people who are supposedly founded on the principles of liberty, justice, equality, and religious freedom we have a pretty funny way of showing it sometimes. I find it interesting that the people who are most likely to talk about patriotism are generally the people who are the least invested in the ideals on which this country was supposedly founded. Why is it not OK to be patriotic and a liberal? Why is it not OK to be religious and a liberal?

The religion thing really gets to me sometimes. Just because I'm a liberal doesn't mean I don't think Jesus Loves You. Just because I'm a liberal doesn't mean I don't go to church. Just because I support people's right to worship whatever deity they choose in whatever way they choose doesn't mean I'm not a Christian (for that matter, just because I'm a Catholic doesn't mean I'm not a Christian either but that's a whole different rant). Just because I support people's right to marry whomever they choose doesn't mean I can't be a Christian. Just because I support a woman's right to choose and to use birth control doesn't mean I can't be a Christian. And for that matter, just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean I'm a Compassionate Conservative, pro-life, homophobic, that I support prayer in public schools, that I voted for either Bush, or that I believe anything Pat Roberts has to say. It simply means that Christianity is what makes the world make sense for me. I'm not in a position to say whether that is right or whether it's wrong, no human being can say that for sure. That's a part of what faith is, believing something which you cannot know for sure. For that reason, while I'm happy to explain my faith to anyone who is curious, I'm uncomfortable being too evangelical about it. I just can't say "I'm right and you're wrong" to some of my friends who are Hindi, Buddhist, Jewish, Muslim, or agnostic. As far as I can tell those are just different ways of explaining the same thing and I have no way of knowing for sure if my interpretation is any more correct than any of theirs. I think that knowing people with different belief systems and who come from different backgrounds than I do is a tremendous gift, we all have so much to learn from each other about what it means to be human.

And the patriotism thing. Just because I don't think we belong in Iraq doesn't mean I don't support the men and women of our armed forces. Those people provide a service to America at considerable risk to themselves and I have nothing but respect for them. They also do a job that I am not willing to do, and for that I thank them. Just because I'm a liberal doesn't mean I don't think America needs to have the capability to defend itself. Just because I don't support the manufacture of nuclear weapons doesn't mean I don't love America. Just because I'm a pacifist doesn't mean I wasn't saddened and incredibly pissed off on September 11. Just because I'm a liberal doesn't mean the lyrics to God Bless the USA don't move me (yes, I know that's incredibly cheesy :) ). Just because I hate our current government doesn't mean I hate America. I'm saddened by the fact that I actually feel uncomfortable flying the American flag because I'm afraid people will think that means I support wiretapping, invading Iraq, Haliburton, John Ashcroft, anti-gay marriage laws, and other things that our government has been doing in the past 5 or 6 years. I feel like that particular image is "owned" in a way by people with different political beliefs than mine and they have made me feel like I don't have the right to use it anymore. That is the nice thing about the Olympics, at least then we can all unite behind our flag in support of our athletes and it doesn't matter what your politics are. And anyway I'm taking it back, I can still fly the flag and love my country even if I hate my government.

Anyway this didn't start out to be such a rant, this is what happens when I get left to my own devices for too long :) I just felt a need to vent, thanks for reading!

The Thorn Birds, Part 2

2006-02-07T14:33:00.000-05:00

So I finished the Thorn Birds, and it may in fact be the most awesome thing put on TV ever. It's one quarter Lifetime movie, one quarter Dynasty, one quarter 80's flick, and one quarter Anne of Green Gables with just a dash of Rebel Without a Cause thrown in just for the hell of it. And by that of course I mean it made me laugh for eight hours and yell things at my television. It contains the actual line "Why can't I have the one part of you the Church doesn't have any use for? Your manhood!" It just doesn't get any more amusing than that. I would also like to point out here that as we move into the next generation of Clearys that the children, who are the only ones actually born and raised in Australia, have American accents. GAH!!!

Miniseries from the 80's...

2006-02-05T13:41:00.001-05:00

So I finally started watching The Thorn Birds after hearing about what a classic it was for most of my life, and boy is it ever cheesy!! I can forgive most of it because it came out in the early 80's and I understand that at that time big floppy hair wass the absolute epitome of sexiness, regardless of what sex the person in question is. I can even forgive people for thinking Richard Chamberlain was a big stud, because he does have a sexy voice and at the time he played Dr. Kildare he was definitely eye candy, but by 1983 he was old and a little jowly. Also he played a priest in love with a ten year old girl, so ew. But like I said I can get past all that. What was really niggling at me the whole time was the inconsistencies in the accents. The Clearys supposedly emigrated from Ireland to Australia, why do only three of them have Irish accents? Also why did I reach hour three before anyone who was supposedly in Australia started talking with an Australian accent? Also how come Stewie and Meggie have no accents in the beginning and then suddenly start talking like Australians? And how come some of the people have highbrow English accents and then the priest who is supposedly an Irishman from England transplanted to Australia has no accent at all? I realize that's nitpicky but either commit to doing accents for the whole miniseries and make it belivable or just don't bother at all.

Anyway other than that I've really been enjoying this whole thing, Blockbuster is sending me the second half on Monday so we'll have to see how it turns out and whether the girl actually ends up with the priest. It's been providing me with a lovely dose of 80's fashion and overblown acting combined with the theatricality and dastardly plotting of a Danielle Steele novel. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend watching it with a sarcastic friend so that you can enjoy laughing snarkily at lines such as "I love you, but I love God more!!!!!" with the appropriate level of aplomb. Much as I love Gatsby he is not much help in the sarcasm department. Oh well!

It's not my birthday...

2006-01-20T18:36:00.000-05:00

... but I'm waiting for someone to buy me one of these!

New Year's Survey!

2006-01-04T22:47:00.000-05:00

I've seen this in several different places, with several different variations...

1) Was 2005 a good year for you?
I think it was kind of a feh year overall, basically like a boring filler year between 2004 and 2006. Kind of like the sixth Harry Potter book, one can only hope that 2006 will be as exciting as the inevitable conclusion to that story. Maybe without the evil wizard. Nothing much exciting happened, there was a lot of fairly crappy stuff in the middle of it, most notably the whole experience of taking my boards and feeling like the biggest idiot on earth. But I survived that and I'm here and moving on to 2006 with my career decided on so that is a step in the right direction.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
That's hard! Going to New York with the girls to see Rent was fun, hanging out with the boys in Chicago was also fun (and at the time, a desperately needed break!). Also going to see Spamalot, quite possibly the funniest thing ever to hit Broadway. There was nothing earth shattering but I did have some good times!

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Anything that had anything to do with taking my boards. There are some particularly embarrassing phone calls to my parents claiming to be a stupid loser idiot that I'd like to forget, causing my family to dust off the kid gloves again :)

4) Where were you when 2005 began?
At my parents house (wow that makes me sound like a loser, doesn't it?)

5) Who were you with?
My sister and her friend. It was single girls party night.

6) Where where you when 2005 ended?
My friends' (soon to be Mr and Mrs Friend!) in Philly

7) Who were with when 2005 ended?

Most of the Philly crew, minus the west coast contingent

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005?
I honestly can't remember making any. If I did I didn't keep them. I am the only holdout on Decent Man (fill in year here).

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?
Not to carry it on to Decent Man 2007 :) and also to go to church. The two are probably not related.

10) Did you fall in love in 2005?
Nope. My life is boring. I fell out of love with Tom Cruise, as did most sensible females

11) If yes, with whom?
see above re: Tom Cruise

12) If yes, do they know?
I'm fairly sure Tom Cruise does not know, or care really. I'm not a Scientologist.

13) Are you still in love with them?

14) Do you regret it?
Not being a scientologist? Or not being in love with Tom Cruise? Neither really :)

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
Not unless you count the above mention of Tom Cruise

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
Sure did!

17) Who are your favorite new friends?
All of them. Who would answer that? "well, janie, you've been a good new friend, but you just didn't measure up to Joanie's standards... so... she's my favorite"

18) What was your favorite month of 2005?
I think July. Boards were over, finally started doing something interesting in school, my birthday is in July, it was a good month.

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?
Nope. Jesus I can't even get it together enough to go to Seattle!

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2005?
CT, MA, NJ, NY, NC, IL. I think that's it.

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?
Thankfully, no.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Sure I did. Damn family and friends are scattered everywhere, and I don't see anyone nearly enough. Plus I miss hanging with the Philly girls now that we're all on different schedules! Med school is f-ing lonely!

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?
Oh my God, I have no idea.

24) What was your favorite song from 2005?
I liked that 100 years song, that may be older than 2005 but i'm incapable of caring about most of today's music :)

25) What was your favorite record from 2005?
record? what is this record of which you speak?

26) Did you see any concerts this year?
No, usually I do but it just didn't work out this year. I'm still bitter about that BNL thing...

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?
no

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?

no, but the few times I did were very memorable

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?
nope.

30) Did you hope for something you didn't get in 2005?
I keep hoping Brad Pitt is going to show up naked one day... also I got on match.com hoping that would work out but thus far no dice. Basically I have everything I want but paychecks and someone to spend them on. And naked Brad Pitt.

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
I'm pretty good at embarrassing myself in general but I can't recall anything I did that I'm actually ashamed of.

32) What was the biggest lie you told in 2005?
I don't know. Probably something along the lines of "oh, the boards weren't too bad" or "I'm fine".

33) What was the worst lie someone told you?
Whatever it was, I didn't find out about it and I don't want to.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
I'm sure I did, I was in a bad mood for about 4 months. To everyone I was probably rude to, I apologize and thanks for putting up with me!

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?
Not really.

36) How much money did you spend in 2005?
I don't have paychecks. So, for me, too much, for most of the rest of America, not that much!

37) What was your proudest moment of 2005?
This is sad, but taking the boards. I wish I had done something more worthwhile to be proud of!

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
Yeah, there is totally not just one there...

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be?
I would not have pushed my boards back a week. That way my poor aunt wouldn't have gotten stuck cleaning out my fridge!

40) What are your plans for 2006?
I'd like to say something exciting, but most likely same shit different year. But at the end of it I'll be that much closer to graduating and getting paychecks!

Merry Christmas!!!!!

2005-12-24T00:16:00.000-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
I hope everyone has an absolutely wonderful holiday!
And here's something fun to keep you all entertained :)
Cluck of the Bells!

It's the most wonderful time...

2005-12-11T08:47:00.000-05:00

that is, unless you live in Philadelphia. For some utterly inexplicable reason, the people here are utterly incapable of dealing with snow. You'll note that PA is in fact above the Mason-Dixon line, right smack dab in the middle of the part of the country that routinely experiences that phenomenon we like to call "winter". For those of you who may be from the south, I'll explain that "winter" means "snow and ice". When I moved here in 2002 and it snowed and everyone was thrown into a frenzy, I thought "well, maybe it just doesn't snow that much here and people are unprepared". Rolling into my fourth winter, I can say this with good supporting evidence - that is crap! So here are my winter recommendations for the people here in this lovely city.
1) Storm Tracker Team - There is no reason to be surprised every time it snows. Really. It snows multiple times. Multiple times every freaking winter. It's really pretty wrong that you react to snow with a greater level of surprise than you react to homicide. Get on it and accept that you live in the north people
2) City of Philadelphia - what you need are called "snowplows". Half assedly sort of scraping 1/3 of the main roads just doesn't cut it. I realize that we are far enough south that the snow will start melting on it's own the next day but it is not good public policy to rely on that. While we're on that subject, it's called sand and rock salt. You can choose which one you would prefer to use, but the point is to use one or the other. Especially considering the phenomenon of the next day partial melt, here is a weather lesson. The sun goes down at night. Therefore it is colder at night than it is during the day. That means that all the crap that melted during the day? Is going to freeze at night. In case you can't follow along, that means the roads? Will be covered with ice. The answer to this? sand and rock salt! Get it together and don't make me come down to City Hall and beat your collective asses with my snow shovel. And speaking of that...
3) People of this fair city - Why am I the only one with a snow shovel? See above post to Storm Tracker Team re: every freaking winter. In addition to purchasing the proper equipment (shovel, ice scraper, etc) it is high time for a readjustment of attitudes. Just because STT is surprised by the snow doesn't mean you have to be. You should know by now that the chances of you being stranded in your house with no bread or milk are basically slim to none, even with the shoddy plowing. So stop having fistfights in the stores, please, it's embarassing. Also, learn to drive in the snow. I know people who have lived here for 20 years, freely admit that it always snows and yet have not put all weather tires on their car, or learned to drive in the snow. If this is the attitude you would like to maintain, please move somewhere like Florida where this kind of thing is warranted.

Thanks, I feel better now :)

what I need...

2005-11-01T20:33:00.000-05:00

Stolen from Nurse Jo
Google a name followed by the word "needs"

1) Kim needs to take off the gloves.
You want to take this outside, punk?

2) Kim needs some hints!
Is this a polite way of telling me the What Not to Wear people are coming for me?

3) Now he's acting like such a dweeb, just when Kim needs him most!
Ha, story of my life

4) Kim needs a boxer.
Mmm, boxers are buff!

5) Kim needs independent strategic leverage against China and Russia
I've already got that...

6) Kim needs to do, even if it’s only now, is to find out for herself what her
father’s past was, and if need be, make on-site confirmations
On site confirmations of what, Dad?? DAD???

7) Kim needs to stop developing crushes on the girls because that seems to
be their kiss of death
Crap, I knew I was going wrong somewhere...

7) Kim needs partnership, including mental compatibility.
Duh! See above re: where have all the good men gone?

8) Kim needs to look spiffy for the camera crew that has been shadowing her almost
everywhere she goes these days
Fucking paparazzi...

9) Kim needs pedagogical help and instructional material for teaching global
climate change and deep time
Um, sure... if you say so...

10) Kim needs a date for the prom-and gets one.
Why do they sound so surprised by this?

11) Maybe what Kim needs to do is smoke some pot, get some tattoos and beat some
women
OK I was with you on the first two there...

12) Kim needs to have a little personality remodeling done.
Ouch!! Can we go back to the one where I get a prom date?

13) Kim needs to think of a way to not make a fool of herself but still have a chance
Again, story of my life...

14) Kim needs financial assistance with school fees for her own children, a computer
every two or three years, a living allowance, and discretionary funds
Discretionary funds? I have got to hook up with these people!!

15) Kim needs to quit watching the Godfather and pretending that she is
in the mafia. Because I doubt anyone believes her.
Oh yeah? Watch out, or you're going to sleep with the fishes...

Heh, that was fun...

random broadway cravings...

2005-08-31T21:24:00.000-04:00

OK so all day today I've been singing music from Phantom of the Opera. So tonight after driving 75 miles from Easton to Philly I am now watching it instead of researching my STD learning issues for tomorrow. But here's the question, does it mean I'm twisted that every time I watch this movie I think the Viscount is a total wuss and I end up with a little bit of a crush on the Phantom? Is the guy who kills people supposed to be totally hot?

the devil went down to georgia

2005-08-22T19:55:00.000-04:00

Was it really necessary or wise to invite the Devil to come on back if he ever wants to try again?

Amusing Medical Anecdotes #2

2005-08-03T20:41:00.000-04:00

Overheard today "I'm sorry, we're just not getting this, we're going to have to bring in the A-team". Since when does Mr T do hospital work?

weird things that only happen to me

2005-08-03T20:31:00.000-04:00

So today I came home from work and found the nice package I had mailed my friend for her birthday last week sitting in a mangled and most unbirthdayish state on my doorstep. Attached was a nice note from the post office stating that they had accidentally backed a truck over it and were very sorry but noticed that it was in a happy birthday mailer and so they didn't want to send it on to the recipient. Apparently it took them a few days to reach this decision since I mailed it on Friday, but whatever, it was very nice of them to put so much thought into it. But also, WTF?? why is the post office thinking this hard about my packages? And if they are, why is it that no one can find a month's worth of mail that was supposed to have been forwarded from my old address but instead seems to have disappeared to the dead letter office? And why am I the only person that things like this happen to?

Amusing Medical Anecdotes #1

2005-08-02T22:32:00.000-04:00

The fact that two separate random drunk people addressed me as "princess" while in the hospital elevators today, before 11 am. The second one then began telling me all about how annoyed he gets by his 14 nieces and nephews like a) I cared and b) I would listen to him anyway after he called me princess without an invitation. What a random term of endearment. Use of the word "princess" should be reserved for a) royal people, b) daddies talking about their little girls and c) Brad Pitt. Because Brad Pitt can call me whatever he wants :).

The charming way I was greeted by a woman being "escorted" out of the ER by security the other morning, nothing is a pleasanter wake up than "fuck you! fuck you all! you all suck!" Not quite as good as the time I got a leetle too close to the homeless guy with a similar sentiment to share and got spit on, but almost!

The fact that I now work in a hospital with a phlebotomist shortage and also apparently no tube system. Which means that after I draw labs on my sixth floor patient I have to walk my ass down to the first floor, drop it off at the lab, and then head back upstairs. The only upshot to this is that I will most likely continue to lose weight on this rotation!

That's all for now, more to come I'm sure!

OK, really, I'm going to be better about this

2005-07-26T22:18:00.000-04:00

Hello, all one person who may read this!
I'm really going to be better about this whole posting thing. I've finally made it into my third year, passed my boards, and am about a third of the way through my first rotation! I'm on medicine right now (like internal medicine, the people who take care of you in the hospital provided you are not on a surgery service). I am really really enjoying myself. I was really scared on the first day but the people were so nice. They have really worked hard to make sure that I have had an excellent teaching experience. Surprisingly I also kind of like internal medicine. Not enough to make a career out of perhaps, mostly because I don't think I would want to do what the attendings do but the house officer's day (read: interns and residents) is actually quite interesting. Then again I have not taken overnight call and I have no actual responsibility for anyone so perhaps I have not gotten the full experience :). I also do not have to fill out nearly as much paperwork as they do. But it is SO much better than class, all that work is paying off! I'm really glad I went out of the gate on such a good rotation, it would have sucked if it had sucked! But, with a good rotation comes much reading/studying, and so I'm going to cut this short and go read about neutropenia! Later!

Things I did today

2005-05-05T00:00:00.000-04:00

Things I did today
1) passed my exams!!!!
2) saw Michael Constantine from My Big Fat Greek Wedding!
3) participated in a random person's marriage proposal at the bowling alley!

All in all, an awesome day!!

Mother's Day Tribute!

2005-05-03T03:35:00.000-04:00

Go to this site and click on Mr. T's "opus" for a special tribute to that special lady, Mom. Is it me or did that kind of take the edge off the A-team for anyone else?

Celebrity Ethics Quiz!

2005-05-01T08:59:00.000-04:00

Suppose you meet the celebrity of your choice (in my case, Brad Pitt :) ) and he/she wants a one night stand, no strings attached. Assume neither of you is seeing anyone and the appropriate means of protection/birth control are available. Do you do it? How badly do you want to call your best friend and say "last night I slept with Brad Pitt"??

this is kinda funny...

2005-03-09T20:42:00.000-05:00

extremely sick, but funny

something fun....

2005-03-09T00:17:00.000-05:00

You Are Sam From "Benny & Joon."

You are very talented at physical comedy. People are in awe of your abilities. However, you have many quirks which can either win people over or completely annoy them. But you're a sweetheart through and through, and it's hard not to love you.

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!

hi again!

2005-02-16T00:37:00.000-05:00

Hi all!
Wow, it sure has been awhile. There's probably about nobody left reading this because I have been very lax in posting. One of my friend's away messages on IM this evening said something to the effect that "school ruins everyone's lives". Amen, sister. I would like to believe that this is only a short term phenomenon. I mean, ostensibly the reason I am in medical school is so that I'll have a nice life someday. Probably when I am too old to enjoy it. Currently though I can say that the only addition school has made to my life is in square inches of my ass since I no longer go outside. Seriously it was 60 degrees here for a WEEK and I had exams so I pretty much missed it. Not to mention missing both the TAR6 finale AND a trip to NYC to see said finale with a bunch of my friends. I taped, but it wasn't the same. My ass is now so large as to preclude any chance of dating, which I don't have time for anyway. And then there's the charming ritual I go through of hating myself every 4-6 weeks when I have exams. I'm a procrastinator by nature, so it's mostly my own fault but I am invariably in tears the night before an exam because I can't get through all the material. This is accompanied by much self-loathing and promises to do better next time, inevitably followed by extreme exhaustion after averaging 4 hours of sleep a night during exam time, missed classes, sprinkle in a liberal amount of pretentious busy work, and we move straight back into being behind and the aforementioned hating myself. Like this week, exams on Monday and Wednesday, meaning I slept from 3-5 am on both Sunday and Tuesday nights. Thursday I went to class from 10-4 and then I work in the library Thursday nights from 5-midnight. I swore I would write my busywork 5-10 page research paper then, but was so tired I couldn't read or type. So, I was ostensibly going home for the weekend to take a "break" after exams, and this leads to the decision to skip class Friday, write my paper, and then leave for home (4-5 hour drive) and watch the lectures I missed on Friday while at home. I get the paper mostly finished, give up in frustration, drive home, spend a nice weekend with my family during which I get no actual work done, but dash off my h and p write up in about half an hour before my cousin's christenting. I get back at about 1am Sunday (well, actually Monday), and am up until 4 putting finishing touches on the paper. I go to class Monday from 9-5, including hospital visit, come home and basically collapse, intending to get a good night's sleep, wake up and go to class today. Except I wake up this morning throwing up, so no class for me. And voila, less than a week after the exams end and I am more than ten hours behind in lecture despite not getting any sleep. Let the self-loathing commence!! It's a damn good thing I find some of this stuff at least marginally interesting, but I am usually so tired of just trying to slog through it all that I find it hard to find the time to appreciate that. I'm sure this is really inspiring anyone reading this, go to med school, really! They tell me I will appreciate the first two years next year and I truly hope so!! It's the one hope I'm still clinging to at this point!!!

Medical funny

2004-12-13T16:45:00.000-05:00

Stolen from Head Nurse, who writes an excellent blog, I recommend checking it out!

Some generalized advice for patients

Dos
1) ...ask if the large puddle of blood pooling under your disconnected IV is normal.
2) ...ask for help reinserting foley catheters if you pull them out.
3) ...use short chairs instead of tall barstools if you drink too much and have osteoporosis.
4) ...ask for help if you wish to amputate a body part BEFORE you start cutting.

Don'ts
1) ... tell the hospital policeman that you need to go get your gun.
2) ... steal the laptop computer I use to sign out your medications.
3) ... slam the Pleurevac in the door of the cab as you leave AMA.
4) ... barf on the nurse. (the biggie)

Holiday Eating Tips

2004-12-13T16:35:00.000-05:00

Sent in my my sister, Shmori98! The line at the end is the best part!

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving fudge.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly, it's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Movie Quiz!

2004-12-13T16:29:00.000-05:00

Name the Christmas flick:

"Hermey doesn't like to make toys!"

Currently in the lead is InweLossehelin, because the rest of you are all wussies who won't guess! :)

Movie Quiz!

2004-12-10T11:53:00.000-05:00

Name the Christmas flick:

"Your Honor, every one of these letters is addressed to Santa Claus. The Post Office has delivered them. Therefore the Post Office Department, a branch of the Federal Governent, recognizes this man Kris Kringle to be the one and only Santa Claus. "

To make things more interesting... a free copy of a Christmas movie to the person who gets the most right answers during December!

Cats that are smarter than mine...

2004-12-10T01:19:00.000-05:00

OK, I know that my cat occasionally sends people IMs, but he's never done this ... which is probably good, because that would mean he was also stealing my credit cards!

Movie Quiz!

2004-12-09T20:01:00.000-05:00

What Christmas movie features the Rose Suchac Ladder company?

Movie Quiz!

2004-12-07T14:30:00.000-05:00

"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings!"

Answer to the last one was White Christmas

Movie Quiz!

2004-12-02T20:43:00.000-05:00

For the month of December, movie quizzes will be Christmas-themed. I may have to stretch this to include television specials, but here goes! We'll start with a hard one, an old flick but if you've seen it you should be able to guess.

"Miss Haynes, if you're ever under a falling building and someone offers to pick you up and carry you to safety, don't think, don't pause, don't hesitate for a moment, just spit in his eye"
"What did that mean?"
"It means we're going to Vermont."

alternate quote:
"Let's just say we're doing it for an old pal in the Army..."

Hello again!

2004-11-18T01:06:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone!
Sorry blogging has been rather sporadic lately. My sister's been in town (yay! fun!), and I've had exams (boo! not fun!) so things have been rather hectic. They should settle down just in time for me to plunge into the hectic holiday season! Which, let me just say OH MY GOD IT'S THANKSGIVING ALREADY! Where has the year gone? You would think that the overly festive displays in every store since before Halloween would have clued me in, but just yesterday it occurred to me that 2004 is actually almost over.

And then I realized I have to face the biggest nightmare of all: Christmas shopping. Christmas shopping on a budget. Which I'm sure all of you know is always a challenge. How to find things that are inexpensive but not cheap, something that says "I thought about you when purchasing this item" rather than "I raided the $5 movie bin at Wal-Mart" and still have enough money left to eat in January. I actually enjoy Christmas shopping for it's own sake, I love to buy people things, I love to shop, I love Christmas music and the festive feeling. My problem is actually twofold 1) the aforementioned budget issue, which basically translates to looking at the $300 Prada bag and thinking "oh, Mom would love that!" and then trying to find something similar at Target, then weeping in despair because the best thing I can come up with is made of something called "pleather". 2) The reason for the budget issue is that I'm a medical student, which also presents something of a time issue. I have exams from the Wednesday after Thanksgiving until December 20th, which means Dec 21 is my first free day to head over to the mall. So I shop online, but there's always something that isn't right when it comes in, and you have to mail it back and head back on over to the mall to get a replacement gift. The mall on December 21st is not a pretty sight. The violence over whatever must-have-toy-of-the-year-and-oh-my-God-if-you-don't-have-it-your-kid-will-die toy has escalated to a frenzied all out war, the kind where normally docile soccer moms have camped out in their minvans for days on end waiting for the tickle-me-elmo truck and are muttering "if that BITCH Roberta from next door thinks that her good for nothing son is going to get an Elmo before MY ZACHARY than she has got ANOTHER THINK COMING!" and revving the engine in a crazed fury. You may think that is an exaggeration, but I worked for a toy store that sold Beanie Babies at the height of the frenzy and we actually had to call social services on this woman who had her entire family camped our for two days in our parking lot. She made her children pee in a parking lot and eat at the Wal-Mart food counter for two days because she just had to have Horace, or Wilbur, or Claws, or whoever the hot new item was. Not to mention the woman who was in line behind the 10 year old who bought the last bear and informed us that "these are not children's toys". In a toy store. With Sesame Street playing in the background. Sadly, like most people she was too stupid to recognize the irony. Side note there? My beanies are totally cat toys. Even the bears. Gatsby loves them. Anyway at least the Christmas shoppers are motivated by the desire to bring the kids a little magic. Also my problems are probably temporary at best. Someday in the future I will have both money and free weekends and I'll be able to enjoy Christmas shopping. Until then, if you're coming to the mall with me on the 21st and there is only one Pepperidge farm gift set left? It's mine, and I will fight you for it!

Got a beef about voting?

2004-11-12T10:56:00.000-05:00

Did you wait in line for a bazillion hours? Did you not receive an absentee ballot? Have to vote on a provisional ballot? Did things go smoothly? Have suggestions about how things could run more smoothly? Post your story here!!

Also stolen from Dave's blog

2004-11-04T10:29:00.000-05:00

HOW TO START TODAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it "George W. Bush."
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of George W.Bush?"
6. Click "Yes."
7. Feel better

More funny names

2004-11-04T10:20:00.000-05:00

So I stole this from Dave Barry's Blog

Ganked from a message board:
The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names......

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name: a = poopsie b = lumpy c = buttercup d = gadget e = crusty f = greasy g = fluffy h = cheeseball i = chim-chim j = stinky k = flunky l = boobie m = pinky n = zippy o = goober p = doofus q = slimy r = loopy s = snotty t = tootie u = dorkey v = squeezit w = oprah x = skipper y = dinky z = zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name: a = apple b = toilet c = giggle d = burger e = girdle f = barf g = lizard h = waffle i = cootie j = monkey k = potty l = liver m = banana n = rhino o = bubble p = hamster q = toad r = gizzard s = pizza t = gerbil u = chicken v = pickle w = chuckle x = tofu y = gorilla z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name: a = head b = mouth c = face d = nose e = tush f = breath g = pants h = shorts i = lips j = honker k = butt l = brain m = tushie n = chunks o = hiney p = biscuits q = toes r = buns s = fanny t = sniffer u = sprinkles v = kisser w = squirt x = humperdinck y = brains z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts.

So my name would be Pinky Applehiney. What's yours?

Election Day Movie Quiz!

2004-11-02T11:32:00.000-05:00

Name the flick:

"The symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free. "

VOTE!!!!!!

2004-11-02T11:03:00.000-05:00

Not that anyone I know really needs this but VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!! VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, whoever your candidate is, go out and vote. It's important enough that people gave up their lives to get you the right to vote. And my pro-Kerry plug is don't let any more Americans die in Iraq or any children go without adequate health care because it was too inconvenient for you to get to the polls! VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Need to know where your polling place is??
Look Here!

Movie Quiz!

2004-11-01T14:55:00.000-05:00

Name the flick:

"It's not that I don't want to know you, Hilary, although I don't."

Alternate quote:

"But you do know, I'm sure you know, what you're up against. There'll be 100 million people right here in this country who will be shocked and offended and appalled and the two of you will just have to ride that out, maybe every day for the rest of your lives. You could try to ignore those people, or you could feel sorry for them and for their prejudice and their bigotry and their blind hatred and stupid fears, but where necessary you'll just have to cling tight to each other and say "screw all those people"! Anybody could make a case, a hell of a good case, against your getting married. The arguments are so obvious that nobody has to make them. But you're two wonderful people who happened to fall in love and happened to have a pigmentation problem, and I think that now, no matter what kind of a case some bastard could make against your getting married, there would be only one thing worse, and that would be if - knowing what you two are and knowing what you two have and knowing what you two feel- you didn't get married. Well, Tillie, when the hell are we gonna get some dinner? "

Halloween Movie Quiz!

2004-10-31T19:24:00.000-05:00

Boo!! Name the flick...

"There are certain RULES that one must abide by in order to survive a horror movie. First, you can never drink or do drugs. Second, you can never have sex. BIG NO NO. It's a sin. It's an extension of number 1. And last, you can never, ever, ever under any circumstances say "I'll be right back," 'Cause you won't be back."
"I'm gettin' another beer, you want one?"
"Sure. "
"I'll be right back. "
"See, you stretch the rules and you end up dead. I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife."

Previous answer was Airplane!
Happy Halloween!!!!

Movie Quiz!

2004-10-29T17:43:00.000-04:00

"You've got to tell the captain, we've got to land right away. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital!"
"A hospital? What is it?"
"It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now"

Previous answer was The Matrix

movie quiz!

2004-10-24T14:34:00.000-04:00

Name the flick:

"Do you know what it really reminds me of? Tasty Wheat. Did you ever eat Tasty Wheat?"
"No, but technically, neither did you. "
"That's exactly my point. Exactly. Because you have to wonder: how do the machines know what Tasty Wheat tasted like? Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe what I think Tasty Wheat tasted like actually tasted like oatmeal, or tuna fish. That makes you wonder about a lot of things. You take chicken, for example: maybe they couldn't figure out what to make chicken taste like, which is why chicken tastes like everything."

Opportunity to help people!

2004-10-24T14:25:00.000-04:00

Help the some of the children George Bush is leaving behind here . Win prizes too!!!

Movie quiz!

2004-10-21T09:09:00.000-04:00

Name the flick...

"It's 0600 hours. What does the "O" stand for? O my God, it's early! "

Movie quiz!

2004-10-19T14:41:00.000-04:00

Name the flick:

"Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing around. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the clear water - BAM. A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head. Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask you, do you give a fuck what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch who shot you was wearing?"

Previous answers were Garden State and Wayne's World

More reasons to vote

2004-10-19T14:01:00.000-04:00

Faith, Certainty, and the Presidency of George W Bush is the cover story in this week's New York Times Magazine, by Ron Suskind. It's well worth a read, of course it's got quite the liberal bias, but I think even a Republican would find it interesting.

Key Quote

"Just in the past few months, I think a light has gone off for people who've spent time up close to Bush; that this instinct he's always talking about is this sort of weird, Messianic idea of what he thinks God has told him to do. This is why George W. Bush is so clear-eyed about Al Qaeda and the Islamic fundamentalist enemy. He believes you have to kill them all. They can't be persuaded, that they're extremists, driven by a dark vision. He understands them, because he's just like them... This is why he dispenses with people who confront him with the inconvenient facts. He truly believes he's on a mission from God. Absolute faith like that overwhelms a need for analysis. They whole thing about faith is to believe things for which there there is no empirical evidence. But you can't run the world on faith. " -Bruce Bartlett, Republican domestic policy advisor to Ronald Reagan and treasury official for George Bush, Sr.

This really scared me. I always wondered about the magical certainty with which Bush makes his decisions and I guess although I don't usually agree I always assumed that they were at least in part based on a review of the available facts. I don't like the idea that the leader of our country makes decisions based on a gut feeling. I consider myself to be a person of significant personal faith and although it certainly influences my life decisions I try to research my options before deciding anything important. And by "important" I mean "whether or not to participate in a post-baccalaureate program" not "whether or not to go to WAR with Iraq". People are getting killed right now because of a decision that our President made, I would hate to think that he decided to put people's lives in danger based soley on the idea that it was what God wanted him to do. Anyway, you might have to register to read the article (free!) but it's well worth the read.

reasons to vote

2004-10-19T13:52:00.000-04:00

This is written much more succinctly than I could have put it. Remember to vote Nov 2!

a joke for you...

2004-10-18T23:31:00.000-04:00

OK, this made me laugh...

So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his pants zipper. The bartender says to the pirate "um, fella, you've got a steering wheel attached to your pants." And the pirate says....

"Garrrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"

Thanks to Rob, who heard it from Jenny!

Things you absolutely must have

2004-10-16T14:18:00.000-04:00

Check this out, make sure to scroll all the way down for the price*.

*Note: Deer not actually included, you have to shoot the damn thing yourself!

Movie Quiz!

2004-10-16T14:10:00.000-04:00

Name the flick:

"If you're gonna spew, spew into this!"

sometimes...

2004-10-15T14:24:00.000-04:00

...you gotta do what you gotta do

thanks to Jenny!

Movie Quiz!

2004-10-14T17:39:00.000-04:00

Name the flick:

"Don't tease me about my hobbies. I don't tease you about being an asshole!"

Previous answer was Outbreak

more things I hate about Bush

2004-10-14T10:53:00.000-04:00

Last night during the debate one of the questions was "what would you say to someone whose job has been outsourced and is now unemployed?". Bush's response to this was to say that the government will provide them with loans and other aid to go to college or community college and "better themselves". Fuck you man! That has to be the most condescending thing I've ever heard in my life. Firstly it does NOTHING for all the college educated people who are nevertheless out of work. Secondly, it's pretty damn insulting to say to someone who has worked hard all their lives maufacturing something like toilet paper, or computer parts, or pens and pencils or any one of a million things that keeps us all running smoothly day to day that a) they are nothing but cheap labor that can be easily replaced and b) that here in America, only well educated people can be a part of the work force and c) they are somehow not good enough. I already know who I'm voting for, but I think if I were undecided that would have swayed me toward Kerry.

more political funnies

2004-10-13T01:02:00.000-04:00

OK, so it's not as good as the first one, but go here and click on "Good to be in DC" for a laugh... I thought the part with the Supreme Court justices was particularly amusing...

It's a bird, it's a plane...

2004-10-12T10:48:00.000-04:00

Farewell, Superman , we'll miss you.

new spin on the movie quiz, movie survey!

2004-10-12T10:17:00.000-04:00

What, in your opinion, is the cheesiest romantic line ever uttered in a movie?

2004-10-11T18:57:00.000-04:00

This is a picture of my kitty, because he's been especially nice and cuddly today. Those of you who know him, no, I haven't figured out what it is that he wants yet...

Movie quiz!

2004-10-11T15:59:00.000-04:00

Name the flick:

"With all due respect, general, fuck you! Sir."

This weekend's were American Beauty and Monty Python's The Meaning of Life